Under a Southern Sky
by Kailorien
Summary: Ellie's having trouble comprehending just what she and her friends have been through. Set just after blowing up the Hereon Bridge.


**Pairing:** Ellie/Fi

**Under a Southern Sky**

The whole thing was a lie.

The world was at war, at least my part of the world was and the thought that we were ever safe, our communities, _our country_, was one big fat lie.

My face was bruised and bloodied. I had scrapped knees and elbows and I was tired beyond the word exhausted. I was so wrecked that I felt like one of those old ute's that had been sitting in the back paddock for donkey's years, all decayed and rusted from the inside out.

The evening air was cool, it clung to my skin like wet clammy clothing and chilled me to the bone. Even the old grey log on which I sat seemed to make my skin crawl with goosebumps.

I looked out over the flowing creek, watching it bubble and broth over stones and twigs, determined to make its path across the valley floor and to disappear deep down into the earth before rising to meet the sea.

Why couldn't life be more like that creek? I wondered. Why couldn't our lives have set, determined paths that nobody could destroy?

I sighed heavily.

I guess we were more like creeks than I first thought. All determined to get somewhere, but when things got in our way, like boulders, or fallen trees; we'd go over them, or under or around them. We all ended up at the same place eventually anyway, it's just our journey that made it unpredictable.

"Ellie?"

I felt the light touch of Fi's fingers on my shoulder. I hadn't heard her come up behind me, like I normally would have and jumped slightly.

"Gee, Ellie, you're cold, here..." she said, wrapping a sleeping bag around my shoulders.

I clutched the ends underneath my chin and sank into its warmth, but it didn't seem to stop my body from shaking. Fi sat beside me on the log, and placed one of her long graceful arms around me. I leant into her, not for warmth, but because I could no longer keep myself upright.

"I can see her Fi, she calls to me, laughs at me," I whispered, my eyes staring out into the glade of gum trees, imagining people who were not really there.

Fi whimpered a sigh and rubbed the small of my back.

"It's going to be ok Ellie. Just because we haven't heard from Kevin, or Corrie, doesn't mean anything. Kevin would do anything to help get Corrie the doctors she needed."

"She was shot in the back," I sniffed, wiping away the tears with the sleeping bag, "you don't come back from bullets in the back Fi..."

It had been days, nearly a week, in fact, since our successful attack on the Wirrawee Bridge and since the time when Kevin had sacrificed his own freedom to take Corrie to the local hospital run by the invaders. Surely, enemies or not, they'd help a person if they were wounded, wouldn't they? I mean, she was just a girl! We were all just teenagers; kids! Didn't anyone understand that? Why wasn't the rest of the world helping us?

I struggled to breathe while I broke down into sobs wetting Fi's jumper with my angry tears and she held me close. I even heard her sniffle; I knew she was trying to be strong, to be optimistic.

After a few moments of silence and after my tears had subsided I sat upright and wiped my eyes.

"Thanks Fi, I'll be alright now. Go to bed, it's been a long day." I said, my sobs still catching in my chest like hiccups.

"Are you sure you don't want me to sit for a while longer?" she asked softly.

Fi was like that one favorite teacher you had in junior primary school, the one you adored. She was always compassionate and understanding, you seemed to think that she was really just an angel sent to look out just for you and yet managed to surprise you every now and then with her seriousness, or her sense of fun. The sort you always wanted to swap your own mother with because you were certain your teacher wouldn't make you do the messy chores or go to bed early, or in my case, eat my greens.

I shook my head and gave her a weak smile, "Nah, I'll be turning in in a minute too. Thanks for the sleeping bag."

She smiled and sweetly pecked my cheek with a soft kiss, "Goodnight Ellie. Everything will look better in the morning."

I wasn't so sure about that, but I appreciated that she had said it.

When I was alone, I resumed staring out into the gum forest not thirty feet from where I sat. The funny thing was everything Fi had said was true. We _didn't_ know anything about Kevin; we _didn't_ know anything about the condition of Corrie. All we had was our imaginations and gut feelings.

My gut feeling told me that I would never see the Corrie I played barbies and dolls with, the Corrie I made mud pies with and the Corrie I snuck into the boys toilets and hid with at school just to see if we could spot any penis's; I had a feeling I'd never get to laugh with that Corrie again. And I didn't know who or what to blame for it.

I felt like my heart had been ripped out of my chest and shredded on a cheese grater, worse yet, it left me with the feeling that I had no heart. I'd almost come to the point where I began to become so numb, that I doubted I would ever be able to feel anything again.

I looked up at the stars and found the Southern Cross. I remembered as a kid, Corrie and I used to have sleepovers in her cubby and we'd lie out under the stars on our swags and look for the brightest stars in the sky and pretend that they were our jewels and we kept them in the heavens so no one else could ever steal them. The Southern Cross was always a prize possession, to whoever found it first, but it came to resemble much more than just jewels in the sky. It was what we would both gaze at as we grew older and discussed our travel plans under, talked about boys and bitched about the posh town kids at school under.

I smiled sadly.

And now I was here, gazing up at it all on my own, wondering about whether or not my dear friend Corrie was alive or dead.

"Goodnight Corrie." I whispered, "Stay safe, wherever you are..." and forced myself to get up and walk back to my tent.

I'd see Corrie again one day, I was sure of it. And I wasn't going to give up believing it.


End file.
